Monday, 4 October 2010

No heals for you.

^^^ This post. Read it.

Now that you've read it, I'd like to inform you that my first ever 80, my holy priest, as well as my current pally-healer has the same issue. I don't just want those health bars to be full, I NEED them to be full.

And ask anyone who has ever sat next to me while I healed a PuG would have often heard me say: "Crap. I hate it when they have confidence in me." This is usually followed by: "That idiot! Pulling THREE groups?! What was he thinking?! I should let him die! But then I'd die.....stupid choices!"

....Seriously. Healing+over-confident-tank=stress for me.

That being said, I'll always be a healer at heart. My first ever character was that Holy Priest. (I'm not counting the trial warrior I played to level 20 on a friend's account in Vanilla that first got me hooked.) And being a Holy priest, I'm used to dying. I almost rerolled a few times due to being too squishy for life, but I stuck to it. My gear still sucks, but it's not as bad as it was.

One of my Warlock buddies says that he loves it when I heal, because he knows he'll live.
My Mage buddy, says he's okay with me healing, but that he knows he'll always die.

Why? Because I do this thing called 'prioritize'. Meaning at the start of each run, everyone gets a number.
Tank is number 1.
Healer (me) is number 2.
Warlocks and hunters are number 3.
Pallies, DKs, warriors are number 4.
Priests and Boomkin druids are number 5.
Shammies, rogues and Catform druids are number 6.
Mages are number 7.
Anyone that annoys me is number 8.

The higher the number, the quicker you get heals.
Usually, everyone is kept at their peak heal, but on boss fights etc. where I have to chose who to heal and who to let die, this is my system.

So, naturally, 'locks love me. Mages, not so much.
My reasoning is that 'locks and hunters have pets, so we lose two dps'ers if they go down.
Pallies, DKs, and warriors wear plate, so they can take a bit more wailing and live longer as they dps.
DPS Priests and Boomkins are next, because Boomkins are massively powerful, and so are S-priests, but neither pull too much aggro.
Shammies, rogues and cats.....they do killer DPS, but they pull aggro ridiculously! And backchat if you ask them to tone it down a bit.*
And mages....they not only pull aggro, but they get one-shotted. *
And for those who annoy me..... well, they rarely get any heals...or rezzes....or kindness in general until they apologise for their stupidity.**

I am quick to let people die. If I'm explaining a fight, and you charge over towards the boss, or pull something, no heals for you.
If I click my drinking macro***, and you pull, no heals for you. Until I've got my mana back at least.
If you are constantly playing "Simon Says Companion Pets"****, no heals for you.
If you talk in only cAPS & NUMB3R5 after I ask you not to, because it hurts my eyes, no heals for you.
If you say "Get with the times grandpa" after the above occurs, no heals for you.
If you ask for heals, you get a macro#, but no heals.
If you whine about my macros, no heals.
If you polymorph ANYTHING that you're not supposed to (critters, the next group, etc), especially during fights.
If we wipe and you unjustly blame me, no heals.
If we wipe and you justly blame me, I will apologise. (Shocked?)
If we wipe and you demand to be rezzed, you won't be.
If we wipe and you say nothing and don't release......depends on my mood.
If we wipe and you ask for a'll usually get one
If we wipe and you ask for a rez politely, you will almost always get one.
If we wipe and you say you get lost, I say "lol, I hear that" and rez you. Assuming of course, I don't get lost on the way to your corpse## =/

*The 1st Law of Mana Conservation comes into play here. "If you're non-essential, and it takes more mana to keep you alive than to rez you, the group is better if you die."
**I'm making a full post about this later, but in the meantime please don't hate. I acknowledge the difference between ignorance and stupidity. That is factored in.
***For those interested it's:
/e sits to drink.
/use (water of choice goes here)
/p I am currently out of mana, and no more heals will be coming till my blue bar's full. With that knowledge, feel free to pull. If you really think it's the smart thing to do.
****I'll admit, this game is rather fun, but during fights it just isn't appropriate.
#The macro depends on the class. My Priest's is:
/p Thankyou for requesting a heal!
/p For Greater Heal, please press 1.
/p For Flash Heal, please press 2.
/p For Renew, please press 3.
/p A healing representative will be with you shortly! Have a nice day!
##I am known for getting lost in ToC. ....Seriously. Not finding it. While in it. .....yeah.

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